Fast, Furious and Full of…

Posted on April 18, 2012 at 4:56 pm by seizure

1000 movie reviews in 1 year

114-118

The Fast and Furious

Paul Walker, Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster

Action

Brian O’Conner (Walker) must infiltrate the world of underground street racing to uncover who is behind a series of delivery truck hijackings. He encounters Dominic Toretto (Diesel) and his street gang but starts falling for his sister Mia (Brewster) which doesn’t help his situation.

The movie starts of with a really fast past hijacking scene which kicks the movie off into full throttle and from this point you expect it to be pretty awesome. Unfortunately awesome never arrives, it gets stuck in traffic because of some lousy car race scenes. It supposed to be an action flick but the only scenes that would be considered action are at the beginning and the end.

In between these two scenes is a long and droll sequence of car races, sexy people looking all sexy and hot looking cars that is impressive for no more than 2 seconds because you remember what type of person drives cars like that… wankers.

For a fast cars this movie is pretty slow and I can’t tell if it is action or a bad gangster drama.

2.3/5

2 Fast 2 Furious

Paul Walker, Tyrese Gibson, Eva Mendes, Cole Hauser, Ludacris

Action

Rogue cop Brian O’Conner (walker) is caught by FBI Agent Monica Fuentes (Mendes) and is forced to either take up a mission to catch drug dealer Carter Verone (Hauser) or go to jail. He takes up the mission and asks his former friend Roman Pearce (Gibson) to help out.

So this movie starts off with even sexier people and hotter cars doing very little. There is a car race that last longer then the first movies and a really bad story line. The new adage of Roman Pearce only brings a loud mouth, trash talking character to the movie. So imagine this… loud music, cars screeching and a guy yelling ½ of the time. Yea that’s so cool right?

I also have to ask, is Carter Verone, the scary bad man in this movie… an idiot? Like I do not understand how he cannot see through the fact not 1, not 2, but 3… THREE people are undercover agents trying to take him down. Yet he accepts them into his life so easily.

2 Fast 2 furious is 2 stupid.

2/5

Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift

 Lucas Black, Zachery Ty Bryan, Bow Wow, Sung Kang, Brian Tee

 Action

(Black) is a high school student who gets in trouble for street racing and sent to live with his father in Japan. He befriends Twinkie (Wow… yea you don’t have to say anything, I know) who shows him the underground circuit of drifting in Japan where he rivals against D.k (Tee) and Han (Kang).

So there seems to be a formula here, lots of people wearing very little and hot cars with very dull stories. Considering this one is about high school students the movie is somehow promoting jail bait showing lots of school girls in tiny skirts, and they don’t make it subtle either.

This looked to be the last of the series as there was no way they could of made another after this considering none of the original cast from the last two are in this… oh wait I spoke to soon, the final scene Vin Diesel makes a cameo. Hoo-fucking-ra… yawn

2/5

Fast &  Furious

Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster

Action

Brian O’Conner (Walker) now an FBI agent teams up with his rival Dominic Torretto (Diesel) to stop a drug dealer who is behind the murder of Dominic’s’ girlfriend Letty (Rodriguez). Brian also rekindles his relationship with Mia (Brewster).

So this movie starts off pretty heavy and is darker then the rest of the series, so immediately I was impressed thinking this might be different from the others, and guess what? It remained the same. Formula was pretty similar to the second movie but with a tiny bit more of a story line and depth to the characters.

This one was a tiny bit more interesting than the others yet still fell to its old mistakes. The action was better in this one and it focused less on racing which was pleasant but not brilliant.

2.5/5

Fast & Furious 5 aka Fast Five

Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Ludacris, Sung Kang

Action

Dominic (Diesel) Brian (Walker) and Mia (Brewster) are on the wrong side of the law again and on the run from FBI bounty hunter Luke Hobbs (Johnson). They end up in Brazil where they encounter a big time mobster and try to take him down. So Dominic and Brian call on old friends for favours bringing back Roman (Gibson), Tej (Ludacris), Han (Kang) and a few more new people.

This is by far the best one of the series, for the simple reason, it actually has more action scenes in it. This movie felt as if it was Oceans Eleven meets Crank. The characters needed to pull off a hard and fast job that is way over their heads. The adage of The Rock was a good call.

I enjoyed this one quite a bit as it focused more on story then showing off and it would have been a great one to end on. Unfortunately if you see after the credits, it isn’t going to be the last one. This series will probably be the new Friday the 13th and will never end.

3.6/5

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Happy FRIDAY THE 13TH

Posted on April 13, 2012 at 11:58 pm by seizure

1000 movie reviews in 1 year

102-113

Friday the 13th (2009 remake) Jared Padalecki, Amanda Righetti, Derek Mears

Horror, Thriller

A group of murders have happened around the 1980s at Crystal Lake who the perpetrator was the mother of a Jason Voorhees (Mears) who was driven mad after camp counselors let her son drown. After she was beheaded by one of the survivors of her murderous rampage, Jason is found out to be alive and starts his own murdering spree. A brother goes to search for his missing sister at Crystal Lake to encounter none other than Jason himself.

This was a worthy and chilling remake of the original 1980 film. It combined all the best elements of the first three Friday the 13th movie to make this cold and dark movie. This movie was coming out with all these other 80s remakes but I believe it was a worthy one.

The cast were great and the movie took a more serious tone then the past 5 films. The Jason portrayed in this one is deranged, deadly, brutal and scary. This movie did give the impression that Jason is larger than life. It was a great movie for first timers and fans of the original. Some remakes just work.

3.9/5

Friday the 13th (1980)

Betsy Palmer, Adrienne King, Kevin Bacon, Jeannine Taylor

Horror, Thriller

A bunch of camp counselors are trying to rebuild and restore camp crystal lake, a decade after a massacre happened. All is fine until one by one the counselors start getting killed off, but by who?

The first and classic installment of the legendary friday the 13th series. This movie is eerie and creepy. The majority of the film is at night and it isn’t lit very well but god damn it works.

A young Kevin Bacon is pretty damn good for one of his earliest movies. The rest of the cast was pretty damn convincing as well as the chills are a plenty in this. A must in any horror collection.

4/5

Friday the 13th Part 2

Betsy Palmer, Amy Steel, Warrington Gillette, John Furey

Horror, Thriller

A few years after the Camp Crystal Lake massacre an unknown assailant goes out to finishes what the last killer left off. A camp nearby Crystal Lake feels the wrath of the legend of the Crystal Lakes famous killer.

If you don’t know by now the killer in this movie is the first appearance of the actual Jason Voorhees (Gillette). Jason in this movie dons a burlap sac over his face and has a hole to see out of one eye. He looks like a redneck killer, on a rampage. Unfortunately this movie didn’t pull off the eerie or creepy look. It was more comedic that scary and you can tell it wasn’t intentional. Let me put this in perspective for you, there is a tall lanky guy, who runs around like he was in a 3 stooges movie, with a sack on his head… a freaking sack!

I was laughing at this until you get to the final quarter of the movie and its pretty thrilling. It wasn’t the best but wasn’t the worst either.

2.7/5

Friday the 13th Part 3 (in 3D)

Dana Kimmell, Tracie Savage and Richard Brooker

Horror, Thriller

Having barely escaped from the last escapade, Jason Voorhees (Brooker) returns to camp Crystal Lake, to find that some party goers have crashed at the camp. Jason now dons the infamous hockey mask look and starts his slashing.

This entry in the series uses the famous 3D technology that was a thing of the past that probably will never come back in our life time… right? Unfortunately 3D back then was real cheaply made and the effects were laughable. For example, there is a scene were Jason crushes a guy’s head with his bear hands and his eye POPS out. Yet when this happens you can see the spring attached to the eye.

The movie was average, and the actor playing Jason moved real slow, you wouldn’t have to run from this killer, you could probably just walk away. What is important is that he finds the mask that will forever make the character iconic.

2.6/5

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter

Corey Feldman, Ted White, Erich Anderson, Judie Aronson, Kimberly Beck

Horror, Thriller

Waking up in a morgue, famed killer Jason Voorhees (White) returns to Crystal Lake to kill more. This time he meets a young boy named Tommy Jarvis (Feldman) who might be his only match.

This was supposed to be the final movie, but we all know the legacy did not stop here. However this is the first installment where you meet Tommy Jarvis who is the only person who has ever stood up to Jason and lived. This film brought back the eeriness and creepiness the first one had with the combination of the killer’s famous look. This Jason is one that will definitely scare you straight.

This was a good movie to end the series on, there were a few things that could of been said to fix up plot holes like, how the hell did Jason survive the last movie? But it is a fun scary slasher flick for the whole fam… ok, for people who like horrors.

3/5

Friday the 13th part V: A New Beginning

Dick Wieand, Tom Morga, Melanie Kinnaman, John Shepherd, Shavar Ross

Horror, Thriller

Tommy Jarvis (Shepherd) is now a grown adult and after surviving the horrors of Crystal Lake as a kid, he goes to a half way house for troubled teens. After a kid gets killed Jason Voorhees (Wieand/Morga) returns but is this the real Jason?

This movie was a slasher movie meets a murder mystery. Who is the man behind the mask? It sure can’t be the Jason Voorhees who DIED in the last movie? Or could it? Nah it can be! Actually it can’t… wait? I DON”T KNOW!

The movie wasn’t as good as the others as it lacked passion and the Jason Voorhees in this movie was an awkward one who couldn’t strike fear in a hypochondriac who reads up on the danger of aids after visiting a brothel. They must not have let John Shepherd act a lot in this movie as he only says a total of 24 words. Yet HE is supposed to be the star of the movie? You can miss this one if you want. Doesn’t add anything to the story.

2.3/5

Jason Lives: Friday the 13th part VI

Thom Mathews, Jennifer Cooke, David Kagen, C.J Graham

Horror, Thriller

Tommy Jarvis (Mathews) has had enough mental problems that he decides to end Jason Voorhees (Graham) once and for all and burn his body at his own grave. Unfortunately as lightning hits Jason, he arises again and is unstoppable.

During the late 80s there was new fad with horror movies that was to add lots of humour in it. This is exactly what this movie did. This movie packed in the humour, and focused less on the deaths. I think this movie was aiming for something less than an R18 so the focus was “if people are laughing, maybe they’ll forget about the death scenes”.

 

The whole movie was cheesy and derived. It felt as if Jason Voorhees was more a cartoon character than a scary horror icon. It was ok but you can tell the level of cringe this movie produced with Alice Cooper putting out a song entitled “Man Behind the Mask (He’s Back)”. Worth listening to as those lyrics and laughing out loud.

2.6/5

Friday the 13th part VII: The New Blood

Kane Hodder, Lar Park-Lincoln, Jennifer Banko, John Otrin , Susan Blu

Horror, Thriller

A young Tina Shepard (Park-Lincoln) discovers she has psychic powers and accidently releases Jason Voorhees (Hodder) from his watery grave in Crystal Lake. Now it is up to her to put him back where he belongs before the death toll rises.

This has got to be the first Jason movie where he is a bad ass machine who doesn’t stop. It is one of the classics in my opinion when it comes to death scenes as this is Jason killing people with gardening tools. It is awesomely fun to watch.

As for the story line how ever, psychic powers? Come on really? This was the best they could come up with? Even with her abilities she seems like a feeble person who can’t stop the menace known as Jason Voorhees. This movie would have been great if it wasn’t for the cheaply written screen play.

3.1/5

Friday the 13th part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

 Jensen Daggett, Kane Hodder, Todd Caldecott

Horror, Thriller

After a cruise ship passes Crystal Lake, its anchor catches Jason Voorhees (Hodder) and takes him on board unknowingly who terrorizes the crew and guests until it arrives in New York where Jason chases down the remaining people that were on the boat.

This was another one of those fun stupid movies that only fans would appreciate. It is great to see Jason in another environment other than Crystal Lake. This time he roams the streets of New York. The humour in this is way better than the humour used in the 6th movie. A great scene is when Jason is storming the streets and kicks over a boom box, thus a gang confronts him with a knife and he scares them off using a weapon that he has never used before, his deformed face.

As for someone who has never seen the previous ones, they will feel lost and don’t get why that this masked killer is chasing people for no reason. There is no motive for the killings other than Jason just hates everyone. So only watch if you are a real fan, other wise miss this one until you see the others.

3.3/5

 

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday

 John D. LeMay, Kari Keegan, Kane Hodder

Horror

After an autopsy on a dead Jason Voorhees (Hodder), the origins of his true evil are revealed. A true evil gives him supernatural abilities and one last shot to become unstoppable with immortality. The only thing stopping him is the last remaining family blood ties he has.

This has to be the WORST, not wait, SHITTIEST movie of the series. In fact, this is the worst part of any franchise in movies, AND I SEEN DUMB AND DUMBERER! There is no logical sense for this movie at all, and what is even weirder is that Jason poses other peoples bodies and takes over them through this weird slimy disgusting worm creature.

I remember seeing this at a young age and remember the outrage I had when Jason possessed someone and that character proceeded to talk… JASON HAS NEVER SPOKEN A WORD IN ANY OF THE MOVIES! WHY NOW? When I saw this scene again my blood boiled like I was 13 again and my angry nerd rage cam out of me.

This movie was made by the original creators of the FTT series yet they had no clue about this. Even if you are a fan of this series, give this one a miss. This was supposed to be the final one but do not worry it wasn’t going to end on a stinker like this.

1/5

Jason X

Kane Hodder, Lexa Doig, Jeff Geddis

Horror, Thriller

In the year 2010 Jason Voorhees (Hodder) mass serial killer, is under experiment in a secret government bunker. He tries to escape but accidently lets off a cryogenic tank which freezes him. 455 years later when earth is no longer inhabitable an architecture class finds the frozen bodies and takes them on board. Jason is now awake and killing in the 25th century.

Originally this movie was to be called, “Jason Goes to Space” but felt it might cheapen the movie so Jason X was born. The script how ever was cheap enough, yet for fans I thought this was an action packed fun movie to watch. This movie new it wasn’t going to be the best so it kept making fun of itself and was clever about it.

Most fans did not enjoy this, but I thought it was fun, bloody and stupid all at the same time. I enjoyed this, I don’t care what others think, this was fun.

3.5/5

Freddy VS JasonRobert Englund, Ken Kirzinger

Horror

Horror icons Freddy Krueger (Englund) and Jason Voorhees, battle it out to see who is the number one killer of all time and the teenagers are the ones who will end up being the ultimate losers.

Before any of you watch this movie, have at least some knowledge of who these two characters are otherwise the movie will be lost upon you. This movie was made for the fans as at the end of “Jason goes to Hell” you see a teaser of the Freddy claws grabbing the infamous hockey mask.

 

The story actually was pretty decent for what it was and how the two characters actually end up in the same scenario was believable. The only part I had any problem was the ending, *SPOILER ALERT* there was no clear ending to who actually won. Jason comes out of the water with Freddy’s head in his hand, yet Freddy winks. What the hell was with that??? Also it is a shame that Kane Hodder didn’t get to play Jason this time around as he is the definitive Jason and it would have been nice to see Englund VS Hodder.

This movie was watchable and enjoyable for horror fans everywhere, new and old.

3.7/5

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Babysitters from hell, Parties from Hell, Immortal beings from Hell

Posted on April 12, 2012 at 11:52 am by seizure

1000 movie reviews in 1 year

99-101

The Sitter

Jonah Hill, Sam Rockwell, Ari Graynor

Comedy

Noah (Hill) is a slacker who still lives with his mother. He has a selfish and controlling not quite girlfriend Marisa (Graynor), who is rude and has not let him sleep with her yet. He is persuaded to baby sit some kids as a favour to his mother. Yet these kids are trouble makers, one is a very awkward and shy, one is a menace and the other is a psychopath. He encounters one hell of a night encountering, gangs, drug dealers (Rockwell) and cops. Yet they are nothing compared to the kids he has to look after.

I saw the trailer for this movie and was pretty excited as it seemed to be a full on laugh fest ( or LOL-fest as the retarded gen Y kids say… ( if you read and enjoy my blog, or come to my shows you are exempt from that last comment J ). It was a fun movie and you were in for a fun ride with the opening scene of having Noah pleading with Marisa to return “the favour” after he has serviced her. Yet once the kids are involved the movie holds back to try not to offend the kids in some sort of weird way. Unlike Harold and Kumar 3 were a kid gets high the most that happens here is that the kids put some cherry bombs in a toilet.

It was funny but could have been way better. They should of let it flow and not care about the consequences and this movie would have been awesome. Rockwell and Hill are great in this movie yet were held back from their full potential. Oh and the kids in this movie were annoying as hell, so I guess there was an element of realism to it.

3/5

Project X (2011)

Thomas Mann, Oliver Cooper, Jonathan Daniel Brown, Rick Shapiro, Kirby Bliss Blanton

Comedy

Produced by Todd Phillips is this movie about the biggest party that goes way out of control. 3 high school kids decide to throw a big party to make a name for themselves.  Thomas (Mann) is having a birthday party that he lets Costa (Cooper) and JB (Brown) arrange. The word gets out and everyone starts to come to this party that make the neighbours complain, riots happen and fights ensue.

This movie is (and not only would they not admit it) based on the Australian kid, Corey Worthington who hosted a party that cost close to half a million dollars of damage to the neighborhood. For those who don’t know him, think of the most arrogant piece of shit you know, then add sunglasses, a fury jacket and times that by 5. Funnily enough, the movie was the same.

I could not feel connection for the characters, it was as if the 3 main characters were the same characters from Superbad that had no charm, personality, wit, humour, fun, sense, cunnings, purpose, life,  meaning, looks, acting skills, intelligence, likeability, presence, emotion, thought, soul, heart, feelings, drive… but I digress. The director is also responsible too.

The ONLY saving grace of this movie in my opinion was Rick Shapiro. The scenes he was in were hilarious and awesome. He was the only character who had drive and emotion and even a real purpose. An angry drug dealer who seeks revenge. Hell yes! I say make a whole movie with just Rick!

1.5/5 is the most I can give this movie and all those points go to Rick Shapiro.

Immortals

Henry Cavill, Mickey Rourke, John Hurt

Drama, Adventure, Fantasy

The ruthless and evil leader, King Hyperion (Rourke) tries to obtain an ancient weapon that could destroy all life. Greek god Zeus sends a mortal man, Theseus (Cavill) a simple peasant, to try and stop the king.

This movie is best described as “300” meets “Driving Miss Daisy”, very cool special effects and slow motion fight scenes in a dark but vibrant movie where literally… fuck all happens. You might wonder what I mean, plain and simply this movie wasn’t so good other then it looked good. It has a really interesting story that took you to the land of no where and who gives a fuck. To be fair, Driving Miss Daisy probably is way more interesting and enjoyable then this, yet I never seen it.

The acting was ok, something you might expect from a soap opera but not a movie, with the exception of Rourke. The whole time watching this I really wanted to fast forward to the fight scenes but thought, “Hold on, I might miss something important”. The important part wasn’t the plot line at all, it was more the struggle of staying awake.

I might be a bit harsh on this but I was expecting something decent while pumps the blood. This was not that movie.

2.2/5

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Jump Street, Firewalls & Robert K Bowfinger

Posted on April 10, 2012 at 11:43 pm by seizure

1000 movie reviews in 1 year

96-98

21 Jump Street

Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Ice Cube, Rob Riggle

Comedy, Action

Two police officers Jenko (Tatum) and Schmidt (Hill) who are new to the force are pretty bad at their job. They get assigned to Captain Dickson’s (Cube) task force and to go undercover at a high school to stop and find out the new drug traffickers.

As most people know this movie is based on the 1980s TV show which usually is a bad sign. Yet when the movie makes fun of that exact situation in a clever way you think to yourself, “hold on, this might get interesting”. At that point you should be pretty pleased with your prediction as it gets so funny and awesome.

This is how movies should be, as they make fun of themselves at the same time play with an exciting story line. This was a real surprise for me. It also shows how times really have changed as “jocks” have no real place in society today and nerds rule. The visuals were really well done such as the “4 phases of drugs” scene which was badass. The action scenes were great and a well driven story mixed with the right amount of comedy makes this a definite watch for this years movies.

There is so much fun to have had while watching this, I just really hope there is an uncut version of this movie. Look out for Korean Jesus and for those who have seen this movie…

“FUCK YEA MOTHER FUCKER!”

4.8/5

Firewall

Harrison Ford, Paul Bettany

Thriller

Jack Stanfield (Ford) is a bank security specialist that prevents hackers to gain access to banking details. He encounters Bill Cox (Bettany), a theif who holds his family hostage, in exchange wants to access bank details to transfer out millions.

This movie wasn’t so bad as I remember I was working at a video store when this came out and it was a direct to DVD release. So I didn’t take much notice of this then. How ever I am kicking myself as this movie was actually pretty decent.

The acting wasn’t too shabby and Paul Betany is one bad ass man. I was actually thinking holy crap, this mother fucker is actually scaring me. The situation is very believable but the way it all worked out, I am pretty certain that is not how easy it is to hack a system. This is one thing I hate about Hollywood. Hacking looks like it can be done by a 13 year old, yet within saying that I am pretty sure there are 13 year olds that can hack the crap out of systems any way.

This is worth watching, pacing could have been a tad faster but overall was great to watch.

3.8/5

Bowfinger

Steve Martin, Eddie Murphy, Heather Graham

Comedy

B film movie maker Robert K Bowfinger (Martin) finds a new script that will save his failing production company. Unfortunately he is told that the only way to get his film produced is if hot action star Kit Ramsey (Murphy) agrees to star. So instead of trying to get him to act in the movie, he films Kit without his knowledge and doesn’t even let his crew know either while he tries to build a movie around that.

This was a unique and pretty funny movie. Murphy plays two characters in this movie, Kip a hot action movie star and — who is a look alike of Kip but is very nerdy, shy and works in a video store. Martin plays this role without any overacting or irony and he plays this perfectly.

Heather Graham plays a young, fame hungry country girl and does what ever it takes to be a star which has its moments. If this movie went a little longer it could of packed in way more jokes and developed some of the other characters further. It was quite enjoyable and something that can be watched repeatedly over. Yet you can’t help to wish it to be slightly funnier then it should have been.

3.3/5

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Parking Lots, Life, and Damn You Adam Sandler

Posted on April 8, 2012 at 1:02 pm by seizure

1000 movie reviews in 1 year

93-95

(Below is an open letter I have actually sent to Adam Sandler)

Jack and Jill

Adam Sandler, Katie Holmes, Al Pacino

Comedy that isn’t funny.

Jack (Sandler) has a twin sister Jill (Sandler) who he doesn’t like since she is needy and passive aggressive. She comes over for thanks giving dinner and over stays her welcome, which puts Jack in a bad spot since he is trying to get Al Pacino (Pacino) to star in a commercial for donuts.

This review will be written as an open letter to Adam Sandler

Dear Mr Sandler

I used to be a big fan of yours, I have pretty much all your movies, including that terrible first movie you did (Going Overboard) which sucked, but I forgave as it was your first. I have followed your career ever since I was in the 7th grade and I had seen you in Happy Gilmore. I rushed out and got Billy Maddison and saw your Opera Man sketches on Saturday Night Live which I love.

I then saw your follow up movies and then your first serious role in Punch Drunk Love and OMG THAT WAS AWESOME! Then lately I don’t know why, but you been making movies that are just shit. Even the ones you aren’t in but you produce are bad. You sucker punched me when I saw Grown ups and Bucky Larson and as the rule goes, everything comes in 3. I did purchase “Just Go With It” but have not watched it as I heard that Jack and Jill was one of the worst movies ever made, so I saved watching JGWI for now as I have something to look forward too that isn’t so bad.

I refused to believe that this movie could be that bad. Maybe people were giving you a hard time and this looked like you were going back to your roots so I was willing to give it a decent shot.

Have you ever heard of the expression “I wanted to poke my eyes out with a stick” ? That is how I felt watching this but I wouldn’t of mind being sodomised by them either as a way to forget the atrocities I seen on screen. How did Al Pacino agree to do this? Is he about to die or something? I have noticed all great directors and actors have their last movies suck so bad then they die. Wait are you dying? I can’t seem to think of any other reason.

I have every movie you ever made in my DVD/Blu-ray collection, even ones where you just cameo in. Yet your last few movies I really wanted to punch you in the face.

Dude, what the fuck is going on? If you had an actress play Jill instead of yourself, it could have been as good, well acceptable as Grown Ups. But I guess you had to cut costs getting Pacino in and a cameo by Depp. And what’s up with Depp his movies suck as well lately. Like have you seen the Rum Diaries? It was ok but who gave a shit.

Any way off topic, Mr Sandler sir, I do apologise ripping into you about the terrible quality of films you have made recently but man comon’ ! I used to be a fan, make me like you again! Fuck, let me make your next movie, Ill guarantee you a way bigger success then being known as a joke. Sure you make millions off the movies you make but you are like Golman-Sachs, you are ripping off decent people and not giving a shit about the consequences. I didn’t even laugh once!

I am gonna watch Billy Maddison and think good of you, before you turned evil.

~Seizure Kaiser

0.1/5  even the Hobo character (Allen Covert) who even walked out early on in the movie since he saw that it was going to be so bad.

Life

Eddie Murphy, Martin Lawrence

Comedy

Set during the 1940s about Ray (Murphy) a con man and Claude (Lawrence) a banker, who were falsely accused of murder by a small town racist sheriff.  Being black men they are not given a fair trial and are sent to life in prison. The whole time while serving their sentence they plot their escape.

This movie was strange to me; it took a serious subject like racism and used it as a tool to drive a story but completely disregarded it as it was just something that happened and wasn’t all that important. It was kind of like how Hogan’s Heroes treated the whole World War 2 thing, it wasn’t such a big deal, the main point was to escape and that was it.

It did have some real funny moments but it was as if I wasn’t sure I was allowed to laugh and made me feel a bit uncomfortable. I felt an uneasy happy, let’s just leave it at that.

2.7/5

Left and Loose in: The Lot

Wayne Waynee (Yes that’s his name), Demetrius Dedmon

Comedy

The story of two security guards Left (Dedmon) and Loose (Waynee) who oversee a parking lot where not much goes around. They pass the time by getting high on weed until one day they see a murder take place.

If this movie was made 10 years ago it would have been barely acceptable. The fact that it’s made now is ridiculously unfunny, unoriginal and ungood. YES I SAID UNGOOD! After you watch this movie you too will make up words to try describing how bad it is.

Every character in this movie gets this splash screen info that you see for video game characters in trailers.

“Oh, so all the main characters get this intro?”

No, all of them do.

“Oh, so all the ones that are pivotal to the story?”

No, ALL of the characters get this.

“Surely not the extras”

EVEN THE EXTRAS GET THIS TREATMENT.

This movie looks like it was a giant music video, especially with the scenes that were indeed MUSIC VIDEOS. There were at least 3 from what I remember. Also there are cartoon sequences when the characters get high, they meet BLACK JESUS. This was not remotely funny.

Oh and the plot, wasn’t necessary. So I won’t even bother to go into it. The main characters play up the worst stereotype of African Americans and they don’t do it with a sense of irony or humour. It is just terrible.

There is only one good thing about this movie and that is the inventive use of a gas mask as a bong.  That’s all.

1.3/5 for the bong

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off

Wrestling and nothing more!

Posted on April 2, 2012 at 9:20 pm by seizure

1000 movie reviews in 1 year

86-92

Happy Wrestlemania everyone, here is 7 movies about wrestling!

Wrestling with Shadows : Hitman Heart

Brett Heart,  Vince McMahon

 Documentary

This follows the life of professional wrestler Brett Heart and his controversial exit from the WWE – World Wrestling Entertainment (formerly the WWF – World Wrestling Federation).

This is an amazing documentary by Paul Jay that shows the real underbelly that no one sees of wrestling. Everyone believes it’s all glitz and glam but in reality it is a mental and emotional, not to mention physical drain that are expected from these performers and a business just uses people up.

Watching this was so interesting that even my roommate who has no interest in wrestling was watching this with intent, asking all types of questions. This is a definite must see documentary, even if you are not a wrestling fan.

4.6/5

Slammed!

Justin Whalin, Zachery Ty Bryan, Sasha Mitchell, Lake Bell

Comedy

Jeff (Whalin) and Derek (Bryan) are best buddies who work in a restaurant with Gina (Bell) that hosts wrestling shows. Jeff wants to be a wrestler like his hero “Slammer” (Mitchell) who ends up training him to be an ultimate wrestler.

As a wrestling fan, this movie was terrible. As a film buff, this movie was terrible. As being under the influence, this movie was terrible. The only thing that kept this movie going was that every 10 minutes, boobs. Lots and lots of boobs.

The plot was laughable (not in a good way) and it’s as if all the characters in this movie don’t know that wrestling is fake. I don’t just mean a few of the characters, I mean ALL. It’s as if everyone was in the twilight zone and wrestling was real and a legitimate sport. Oh and really hot girls take off their tops every 10 minutes too.

Long story short, everyone in this movie is dumb

1.3/5 for boobs

Grunt! The Wrestling Movie

Magic Schwarz, Steve Strong and Marilyn Dodds Frank

Mock-u-mentary Comedy

After “Mad Dog” Joe Decurso () accidentally kills his opponent by decapitation and then disappears. People believe Mad Dog killed himself and a new wrestler appears on the scene named “The mask” who has a style very similar to Mad Dog himself. A documentary crew tries to uncover the mystery.

This movie was very B grade but had similarities to what Spinal Tap did for music. The movie had some funny and laughable moments but at times it became to weird and threw me off. Wrestling fans might like this, general audiences will probably not.

It is one of those movies that you would want to watch with friends and make a drinking game out of.

2.3/5

Ready to Rumble

David Arquette, Oliver Platt, Scott Caan

Comedy

Sean (Arquette) and Gordie (Platt) are two wrestling fans who live and breathe wrestling. Their favourite wrestler Jimmy King (Platt) is backstabbed by a wrestling promoter and left the wrestling world in disgrace. Sean and Gordies’ quest is to get Jimmy back onto his feet.

During the height of WCW (world championship wrestling) they thought it might be a good idea to make their own movie. This is exactly what they did, and kids would love it. An adult how ever would look at this and shake their head. This movie is intended for people who believe that wrestling is real. The movie is full of wrestlers from WCW and it is one giant commercial for the brand. This is probably one of the reasons why WCW went bankrupt in the first place.

For wrestling fans though, the best moment in is was by far watching commentator Mean Gene act high and drunk.

Not the best, few laughs, but overall I could of watched a real wrestling match and be way more entertained.

2/5

The Wrestler

Mickey Rourke, Marissa Tomei

Drama

Randy “the ram” Robinson (Rourke) was a major wrestling star during the 80’s. His time now has passed from the limelight and is struggles to adjust to life outside of the fame. He is broke and lives out of his van and has a soft spot for a stripper named Cassidy (Tomei).

I love this movie, a great and powerful narrative that drives its audience to feel for the characters. The wrestling scenes in it were pretty brutal as well but which for a wrestling fan is pretty cool. It shows the hardships these wrestlers go through after sacrificing their own bodies for the entertainment of others. Its so gritty, real and raw. Some moments were really graphic.

When this movie originally came out I went and saw it with a mate who was a wrestling fan as well. Saw it at an artsy type cinema with hipsters and intellectuals. During the wrestling matches everyone was squirming and being uncomfortable in their chairs, how ever my friend and I were screaming “HOLY SHIT HE GOT HIT BY A CHAIR! THAT WAS AWESOME *clap clap clapclapclap* THAT WAS AWESOME *clap clap” etc etc. We weren’t so liked.

This is definitely recommended to everyone as this movie is just so well made. It has it all, great story, great acting, great everything.

5/5

Beyond the Mat

Mick Foley, Terry Funk, The Rock, Jake Roberts

Documentary

A documentary about wrestling by Barry Blaustein about the lives of wrestlers and how their show’s might be fake to everyone else but is very real to them.

This documentary is what the fictional movie “The wrestler” bases most of its material off. It is a very dark world that follows the lives of 3 wrestlers, Jake “the snake” Roberts who peaked in the 80s and is now doing drugs and doing small shows. Terry Funk is of old age but puts his body through so much torture to make an earning. Mick Folley is one of the biggest stars in wrestling known as a hardcore wrestler. The strain he puts on his own body as well as the mental strain he puts on his wife and kids is terrifying to watch.

Wrestling might be fake, but is way too real for these people who have to wrestle with their own demons.

4.3/5

Nacho Libre

Jack Black, Ana de la Requera, Héctor Jiménez

Comedy

A priest/monk named Nacho (Black) who has been ridiculed for all his life decides to follow his life dream of becoming a Luchador wrestler. He also wants to try to impress Sister Encarnacion (Requera) and win big to save the orphanage he works at. So with the help of Esqueleto (Jimenez) they try to win the big wrestling prize.

There were two selling points for this movie, Jack Black and Wrestling. I thought this movie was going be an absolute winner. Jarred Hess directed this who is known for Napoleon Dynamite, and this movie was pretty light and had its moments but ruined by its immaturity. There were a few fart jokes in there, and I am no prude but more than one fart joke is over blowing it, and that was a bad pun if you would even call it one.

The guy who played the bad guy in this movie was an actual champion Luchador and would refused to take off his mask for the movie as it’s a sign of humility. What makes this movie stranger is that well, its based on a true story… wait what? That story is true? HELL YES IT IS! Weird huh?

I did like this movie quite a bit, but I didn’t love it. Was missing quite a few body slams.

3.3/5

 

Hope you enjoyed, come check me out at they Sydney Comedy festival “MW WRESTLING CHAT SHOW” and see me get hit by a chair! April 28th link is here: http://www.sydneycomedyfest.com.au/index.php?view=details&id=513%3Amw-wrestling-chat-show&option=com_eventlist&Itemid=55

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Problem with Children

Posted on March 30, 2012 at 11:40 am by seizure

1000 movie reviews in 1 year

84-86

Problem Child

Michael Oliver, John Ritter, Jack Warden, Gilbert Gottfried, Amy Yasbeck, Michael Richards

Comedy, Family

A little boy called Junior (Oliver) grows up in an orphanage then adopted by Ben (Ritter) and Flo (Yasbeck). He is a child that causes havoc amongst everyone around him including his grandfather Big Ben (Warden) and his former teacher Mr Peabody (Gottfried). It is no surprise either that one of the people he looks up to is a famous serial killer Martin Beck (Richards) who decides to escape from prison to meet him.

This movie is a childhood favourite of mine. I loved this as a kid when I was growing up and when I watch it now… well… it still fricken rocks!  It is a good movie and has quite a bit of adult jokes in there but some people might find the acting a bit over the top for todays standards. But judging be todays standards when you got movies like High School Musical, the movies kids watch now are fucking shit. Seriously shit. Here is a list of shit movies kids watch now…

Twilight

High Shool Musical

Anything with Justin Beiber in it

Hannah Montana

Harry Potter – THAT’S RIGHT I SAID IT!

This movie was pretty well made and isn’t as cheesy as these other whiny my life is soooo hard type of movies. Notice that all those movies have white leads? Yea I am sure you got a real struggle to deal with like not getting your latte in time.

Problem child is damn funny, watch it.

3.2/5

Problem Child 2

Michael Oliver, Jon Ritter, Amy Yasbeck, Jack Warden, Gilbert Gottfried, Laraine Newman

Comedy, Family

Ok so we continue where the first movie left off *SPOILER ALERT* Junior (Oliver) and Ben (Ritter) move to another city after leaving Flo (who isn’t in this movie) and escaping Big Ben (Warden) to start a new life. However the new town finds itself a rival to Junior, another problem child and a rich and powerful lady (Newman) who wants Ben for herself but only to find out that Ben is in love with Annie (Yasbeck).

Wait… the love interest that Ritter has in this movie is played by Amy Yasbeck… who played his wife in the first movie as another character? What??? Must have been either some contract clause or talented actress at the time were really scarce. This movie is like the original but there is a lot more cheesy moments in this one. They did dumb it down to make it more child friendly but don’t let that throw you off. In fact there is a projectile vomit scene that puts Team America to shame. Well worth it in my opinion.

Overall this movie was a decent follow up to the first and although they did make add a few cheesy moments overall it was fine. Except for *ANOTHER SPOILER* when Ben falls in love with this other lady instantly but is due to get married, didn’t really make sense as they didn’t have that many scenes together.

STILL DARN GOOD

3/5

Problem Child 3: Junior in Love

William Kat, Justin Chapman, Jack Warden, Gilbert Gottfried

Comedy Family

Junior (Chapman) is back with his dad Ben (Kat) and up to more antics with Big Ben (Warden) and Mr Peabody (Gottfried). This time junior finds himself in love with another girl and must win her affection.

Ok let me start off by saying this 3 word comment that might sum up the whole movie… “WHAT THE FUCK?!”

This was a terrible follow up to the Problem Child movies, for one they changed the 2 lead characters and gave them both a Hollywood make over. They made Junior smaller and what they might call “cute” makeover WHICH HE WASN’T & they made Ben younger and thinner then the other movies. What makes matters worse is that there is no link between two and three. It is as if they disregarded the second movie all together.

The set, oh my god, the set was if Pee Wee Herman’s Playground fucked the set of Play School and had this colourful disgusting baby. YECH!  The jokes were made for 5 year olds. So if you were a fan of the series you would of grown up with it but they insulted you by making the jokes really bad. There was 2 times I laughed; they had a character who was supposed to be a parody of Macaulay Culkin of “Home Alone” fame. The second time I laughed was when you first see the Scout Leader who just shouts terribly loud in this small kids face as if he was the reason he ruined the movie.

Oh and for the story, think a really shitty version of Scott Pilgram as he has to take one 3 guys before getting to the girls heart.This movie makes me want to punch small kids who wear boy ties in the face.

0.2/5

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

F-F-Fright Night!

Posted on March 29, 2012 at 10:30 am by seizure

1000 movie reviews in 1 year

81-83

Fright Night

(remake)

Colin Farrell, Anton Yelchan, David Tennant, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Toni Collette

Horror, Comedy

Charley Brewster (Yelchan) believes he is living next door to Jerry the vampire (Farrell) which he didn’t believe till his former best friend (Mintz-Plasse) goes missing. No one believes him, even his mother (Collette) doesn’t, so he seeks out an occult magician Peter Vincent (Tennant) for help.

This is a remake of the 1980s movie of the same name.. This movie from what I have heard as a remake was pretty darn good. So I skipped the original and went straight to this. I found myself enjoying this movie quite a bit. It was funny, thrilling and in some parts, yes I will admit scary.

Seeing Colin Farrell as a villain is always fun (see Daredevil) as he bring a bad ass slyness to the role. Tennant was the one who stole the show being a loud mouth rude and arrogant magician kind of like Chris Angel with the shit tattoos and crappy persona.

What makes this movie enjoyable is that it knows people are going to criticize it for being a remake so they cranked up the tongue and cheekiness to a whole new level and made it fun. I really enjoyed it and found it very fun to watch, will watch it again.

3.4/5

Fright Night

(Original 1985 version)

Chris Sarandon, William Ragsdale, Amanda Bearse, Roddy McDowall

Comedy Horror

No one but Charlie (Ragsdale) knows and believes that his next door neighbour Jerry (Sarandon) is a vampire. His girlfriend Amy (Bearse) thinks he has gone mental and seeks the help of Fright Night TV host Peter Vincent aka the vampire killer (McDowall) that vampires don’t exist.

This movie was very tongue and cheek and very self aware about the fact that during the mid 1980’s slasher flicks were in and old time horror icons like Dracula, Frankenstein and werewolves were out. So they played up the whole angle as in Peter Vincent’s show being cancelled, people thought the neighbour wasn’t a vampire, just that he was one of those “new gay couples”. It was very fun to watch for horror fans.

The movie was pretty good and I wish to have seen it back in its prime, none the less worthy enough to be a classic.

3.5/5

Fright Night Part 2 

William Ragsdale, Roddy McDowall, Traci Lind, Jon Gries

Comedy Horror

Charlie (Ragsdale) and Peter (McDowall) are still friends from the original Fright night but a few years have passed. Charlie how ever believes that the whole vampire thing just was a childish imagination while he sees a shrink about it. Peter however is now truly converted and knows the truth. While a new host of Fright Night replaces Peter they both can’t help to notice that the vampires are back.

This movie was an okay follow up, it had a good idea but didn’t quite pull off the slick and cool magic from the first one. It’s as if the budget of the movie was pulled back. None the less the acting was quite good and story was interesting enough to kepp me entertained.

The way the roles have been reversed in this one and switched around makes it feel like the same original movie but with a little more added. Kind of like how Hangover 1 and 2 are the same movie. I guess it does ok and is a better sequel than other movies.

2.8/5

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Art, Brightest & Corporate Fights

Posted on March 26, 2012 at 9:49 am by seizure

1000 movie reviews in 1 year

78-80

The Artist

Jean Dujardin, Bérénice Bejo and John Goodman

Comedy Drama

The biggest silent movie star George Valentin (Dujardin) is starting to fade out from the fame of being a movie star as talking pictures are coming out having Peppy Miller (Bejo) as the hottest star on the scene. George is going out of his mind and being self destructive with his emotions, finances and friendships such as his long time producer Al Zimmer (Goodman), the only person who has any faith for him and keeps his spark going is ironically the person driving his madness… Peppy Miller.

I watched this movie as there was nothing, NOTHING good to watch. I had heard about this movie and was intrigued, and to be honest, didn’t realise it was already out. The movie was refreshing from all the movies I seen recently as I wasn’t bombarded with shitty top 40 pop music and CGI madness. This was a relaxing picture to see and is a work of art. Who would of thought a silent movie in this era would be so enjoyable.

Sorry, I must reiterate, MOST people found this movie enjoyable. The guy next to me at the cinema, how ever, you could tell was an uneducated asshole who kept moaning and complaining that (if you ever been to Bankstown read this next line as if you were a local from there) “Bro, this movie is fucking shit, no one’s talking in it”. 10 minutes later… “What, you mean this movie is gonna be in black and white the whole time?”.  And the occasional sigh every now and again. He was getting real agitated and his girlfriend (I think no longer) was embarrassed and trying to shield her face because of this guy. If you need a visual of what this guy looked like, White sneakers, blue jeans, Abercrombie and Fitch t-shirt and spiked hair. Yup… asshole.

Any way, for ME however, this movie was great. It was fun, enjoyable, heart warming and just a really well acted movie. I walked out with a massive smile on my face and just enjoyed director got all these actors to use their own bodies to show emotional range instead of saying it. Just wow.

5/5

Best and Brightest

Neil Patrick Harris, Bonnie Somerville, Amy Sedaris, Peter Serafinowicz

Comedy

A young couple Jeff (Harris) and Sam (Somerville) are trying to get their daughter into an elite kindergarten in New York after moving in from the country. They have trouble at first but get the help of Sue Lemon (Sedaris) to get their child in and also an old acquaintance Clark (Serainowicz) who is a sex crazed pervert.

This movie was interesting, I say interesting because no real laugh are had in my opinion till a third into the movie. I thought I was watching a dramedy (dramas disguised as comedies), which made me almost throw the remote at the TV. When it kicked off, it was a pretty fun ride. Turns out one of the lies they use  *kinda spoiler alert* is they say Jeff is an amazing new poet who’s about to get his book published, but when asked to show some of his work, Clark accidentally sends him transcripts of his cyber sex chat logs.  Which turn out to be brilliant funnily enough.

The movie was pretty fun but is a very slow starter, so if you got the patience I recommend it. Also worth it to see Chris McDonald (aka Shooter McGavin) and John Hodgman.

2.9/5

Tekken

Jon Foo, Kelly Overton, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa

Action

When the world is now owned not by governments but corporation, one of the biggest “Tekken” holds a fighting tournament each year and who ever wins has control of the company till the next tournament. After Jin (Foo) finds out that hi s mother was killed by Tekken employees, so he enters the tournament to find out why.

For those who don’t know Tekken is a fighting video game, one that as far as I knew, had a very loose story line that I never even bothered paying attention too. I just wanted to bash other characters up. So they story is pretty much similar.

When Jin enters the contest he meets Christie (Overton) which whole purpose to me it seems was to show off her butt for the majority of the movie. Gotta admit, was nice to see for a while, but then it was like “ok we get it she has a fab ass”. If I wanted to watch light erotica I woulda watched strip tease or something. I wanted to watch an action movie then damn it, I want to see action. Not butt.

The fighting scenes were actually pretty impressive and the fighting was cool. At times it did feel childish but during other moments it was a blood pumping rush. To be fair this has been one of those better video game adaptations, most of those are really bad. So I will give it a fair score for what it is.

2.6/5 … ok just for Kelly Overton’s ass… 2.9/5 … sex really does sell. Damn I hate myself right now.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The impossible Missions

Posted on March 20, 2012 at 5:19 pm by seizure

1000 movie reviews in 1 year

74-77

Mission Impossible

Tom Cruise, Jon Voight, Ving Rhames, Jean Reno

Action

Ethan Hunt (Cruise) is an American spy who gets falsely accused of betraying his country after his team leader Jim Phelps (Voight) dies. He then has to uncover the true betrayer without the help of his organisation the IMF before spies from both sides kill him and his new team (Rhames and Reno) first.

Let me put this out there before I start… I don’t like Tom Cruise… the person, I just don’t agree with some things he does. Although,  Tom Cruise the actor, pretty damn good. This movie is based on the 1960s tv show.

I wasn’t that much of a fan of, it was an interesting story but it wasn’t as suave as a James Bond movie. The action scenes were pretty ok but the gadgets were pretty over the top and lame. There was a cool action sequence at the end but that was a bit to late.

The sad fact is Cruise has a really interesting role and character but the rest of the cast were boring to watch felt like Jean Reno just wanted to cash in his pay check. In the end it was ok but not brilliant, but if it’s playing and I walk into the room, I wont turn it off.

2.5/5

 

Mission Impossible 2

Tom Cruise, Dougray Scott, Thandie Newton, Ving Rhames

Action

Super Spy Ethan Hunt (Cruise) is sent to Sydney Australia, to find and destroy the super killer disease known as the “Chimera”. He must find former agent Sean (Scott) who has the cure for the disease and also is trying to sell the Chimera to terrorists.  He seeks the help of an international thief Nyah (Newton) to con the agent.

The movie starts out in a pretty epic fashion, with great scenery and typically of Jon Woo style that he makes visuals look good. The acting is improved in this movie but unfortunately this one falls flat compared to the previous one. The gadgets are way more ridiculous compared to the first one and the story just drags along. The actions scenes are not that great yet the breach and recover scene was pretty impressive.

Unfortunately sitting through this one felt like I was working, I was not enjoying a single moment, I kept looking at my watch waiting for the movie to end. Damn you Tom Cruise.

1.4/5

 Mission Impossible 3

Tom Cruise, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Simon Pegg, Kerri Russel, Maggie Q, Ving Rhames

Action

Super duper spy Ethan Hunt (Cruise) is back and now has a new role of training IMF agents. He has a wife and is successfully  keeping his double life a secret. That is until international arms dealer Owen Davian (Hoffman) kidnaps his star pupil (Russel).  Hunt assembles a new team Zhen (Q) and Benji (Pegg) with the help of his friend Luther (Rhames) to go after his toughest and smartest opponent yet.

Wow, just wow. This movie has improved so much more over the other two in the franchise taking a more serious and darker tone. The cast was amazing and Hoffman is one awesome bad guy. The fact that Ethan Hunt is trying to keep his work life secret from his personal life is an interesting duality of the character. Simon Pegg brings in some fresh comic relief to the movie that was needed otherwise the movie would have been as tense as a prisoners first visit in the shower and dropping the soap.

I say this movie was pretty damn good, I actually enjoyed this one quite a bit, I do recommend this one and this should have been how the previous two movies should have been like.

3.8/5

 

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

Tom Cruise, Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg, Paula Patton, Michael Nyqvist

Action

Super duper trooper spy Ethan Hunt (Cruise) is backer then ever. This time Hunt and his new crew Brendt (Renner) Jane (Patton) and agent Benji (Pegg) are trying to beat the clock to find and stop a terrorist named Hendricks (Nyqvist).  When they think they have tracked him down in Russia and bombing at the Kremlin causes mass destruction and the IMF agency is blamed. So with no support or resources Ethan Hunt and his crew must find the real terrorists behind the attack before they set off another and try to clear their names.

In my review for MI3 I said “wow”, but for this movie I say … “HOLY EFFIN SHEETS!”. This movie was awesome. Still carried the dark tone of the third movie and amped up the action, the story was way more intense and the acting was superb. The whole time I was on the edge of my seat literally. The situation Ethan is put through builds his character way takes him to new levels.

The action sequences were done brilliantly and with no help from his agency there were no over the top gadgets and it was just plain raw and gritty. This is what spy movies should be like, one to take you to a place so high then drops you without warning putting you on a thrill ride like no other.

My ONLY complaint, it was too long. I felt like I was in a really great sex session but was too tired to go on (don’t act as if that has never happened to you, and if you are young… you’ll see).

4.2/5

Tom Cruise, Jon Voight, Ving Rhames, Jean Reno

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment