49-51

If there are any movies you would like me to review, email me at Seizure@iamseizure.com and I’ll organise shipping to get them off you. Also I am giving away “Dexter Season 4*” on DVD to a random person who leaves a comment on this entry

Deathrow Gameshow

John McCafferty, Robyn Blythe, Beano (Yup… Beano)

Comedy Thriller

A game show that has its host Chuck Toedan (McCafferty) have convicts convicted to death row have a chance at life or live execution on TV by putting them through ridiculous and outrages challenges.

When I heard of this I honestly thought it would be a gory and trashy Troma style film. I was wrong on both accounts. Despite the subject matter this movie was a lot of fun, weird in some places but it got the point across without making you tune out.

The way I would describe this would be like if Saw meets the price is right. It was pretty entertaining, alas some over acting but that is forgivable. This has the sense of what happens if we don’t have censorship what would happen. It has a moral underlining message but still pretty weirdly funny. There also is a mafia hitman (Beano) who threatens to kill Chuck if he doesn’t pay him protection money and kill any of his crew on his tv show.

As I mentioned before, you don’t see any gore, also no blood, but you do see dead bodies. Very interesting and Chucks smile is worth the movie alone as it is a mix of creepy pedo and an ad for teeth whitening paste.

3.6/5

 Hollywood Sex Wars

Mario Diaz, Jenae Altschwager, Dominque Purdy

Comedy, so they say

This is a movie about the battle of the sexes and also they playas on both sides of this war. 3 guys who have the worst luck with women seek help of their neighbour Johnny Eyelash (Diaz) who is very successful with the women. Yet there are also secret societies of women who keep an eye out for these players and report to each other so they don’t get screwed over.

Sounds funny and mildly interesting but for a comedy, THERE WASN’T A SINGLE JOKE IN IT! The movie build up for ever and ever and all it seems to be are ex strippers showing their tits every couple of minutes and some loose story.

The acting, was decent but there was no story so it would be like as if you got an ice skater on a grass field. THEY CAN’T DO ANYTHING! This movie made me not want to laugh, and made me consider wanking as there was nothing this movie could do. Worst part was that the movie wraps itself up in the last 5 minutes as if nothing happened.

This movie isn’t worth the time or effort… or even the wank.

1.2/5

Bangkok Dangerous

Nicolas Cage, Charlie Yeung, Shahkrit Yamnarm

Action

Joe ( Cage ) is an assassin on a job in Bangkok who follows a set of rules that has never gotten him in trouble. This time he has broken his own rules by falling in love with a local girl (Yeung) and befriends an errand boy (Yamnarm).

This was an interesting look at the life of an assassin from their point of view. How they deal with all the troubles and get stuff done. I never knew initially that this movie was a remake and watched it on its own with no bias.

The movie is fine till about two thirds in where the movie wraps up all its plot points in 2 minutes. TWO MINUTES? What was the point then? I enjoyed where it was going but then it is as if the director lost faith in his own movie and decided to cut his losses,

The action was pretty decent but then again it was all for nothing. Why do they bother wasting all this time? If they let the story play out I believe it would have been better.

2/5

*NTSC Thai DVD

46-48

Fantastic Mr Fox

George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Bill Murray, Willem Dafoe

Animation

Based on the Ronald Dahl’s children’s book, comes the Fantastic Mr Fox (Clooney), a fox who used to be a thief, and a good one as well. He has long given up on that after he has become a father and a writer for a well published newspaper. Unfortunately making ends meet is getting harder so he goes back to being a thief with the help of local animal friends.

The movie was pretty good and for a kids movie that didn’t dumb it down for adults which was great because I hate movies that dumb down the source material (ie Daredevil). And they used a clever devise for swearing, for every time they wanted to swear they would say “cuss” instead. And it worked so Cussing well.

It was great hearing all the characters come to life with an amazing cast, but it was in stop motion animation. I don’t know what it is about stop motion but it annoys me. I think it was because of all those kids Christmas specials that used to air on tv when I was a kid which I hated since they weren’t fun to watch and ALL of it was stop motion and it sucked. I was used to the Tom & Jerry cartoons so I knew what quality kids programming was, and it wasn’t a Christmas special.

Any way, the stop motion was annoying till a quarter way through when I forgot all about it and was focusing on the story. THAT annoyed me as well because as a kid I remembered parts of the story and the whole time I was trying to figure out what was gonna happen next. Some parts rang a bell with me and others were completely lost on me.

It was a good movie all and all but god damn it I couldn’t remember half of it (actually more) and fucking stop motion, who has the time to fucking do frame by frame work!

3.9/5

Shoot the Hero

Jason Mewes, Samantha Lockwood, Danny Trejo

Comedy Action

A couple find themselves in the midst of a botched robbery involving jewels while looking for wedding rings, while a two bickering of brothers are heading towards vegas for a hit job.

So that’s the plot, there is this couple Nate (Mewes) and Kate (Lockwood) who Kate doesn’t want to be in the relationship so Nate tries to do something spontaneous by buying her an engagement ring and then hell breaks loose as a robbery takes place. The thieves all have their own motives and then start backstabbing each other.

After that story is complete, another story starts about two brothers who are travelling by foot trying to get to las vegas but find some obstacles on the way, they look like 2 giant geeks but end up being killers.

This movie tries to be pulp fiction but ends up looking like Dude where’s my car. There are some funny moments but not so much to make the whole movie fun or even believable. Sure one of my favourite movies Crank is way over the top but even it knows what works and what doesn’t. Shoot the hero just doesn’t.

2.1/5

Barney’s Version

Paul Giamatti, Rosamund Pike and Jake Hoffman, Dustin Hoffman

Drama

The story of the life of Barney Panofsky (Giamatti) a erratic, impulsive and confident individual. His life is a very fulfilling, having interesting friends and a loving father(D. Hoffman). He meets different women along the way and all have an important part in his life.

Paul Giamatti is one of those few actors that can do any kind of role and can’t be typecast since he has so much range. This movie showed how much emotion and a great story about this complex guy.

Funny thing is that it starts off like a comedy but gets real deep and dark. A lot happens in this movie and its pretty damn long so you better have time on your side. It’s a great movie and definitely worth the watch. Except for the fact its long, oh and they guy who plays the best friend is a bit of a hipster douche, and you know how I feel about them.

4/5

43-45

All American Orgy

Laura Silverman, Ted Beck and Edrick Browne

Comedy

I am reviewing another movie about an orgy (see: A good old fashion orgy) and this revolves around 3 couples who try to have an orgy which they hope will teach them more about themselves.

That is so true, “enlightenment” is the first thing I think about when I hear the word “orgy”. Doesn’t everyone… right? This is an independent movie and back in the day, an independent movie usually meant a B grade horror or a teenage sexual romp. Now, it means hipster with a film camera who wants to make something poignant but has no freaking clue about anything outside their own hipster world. THIS is that movie. A hipster movie under the guise of a “comedy” movie. Why?… WHY BOTHER?!?

Here is my stance on hipsters, let me make this very clear. If there was another mass genocide and hipsters were the target, I’d be the one pulling the trigger on them. Why? Because they are the most arrogant, false, annoying people who hide behind a false smoke screen of happiness/depression and intelligence (which they don’t have).

SO… back to this movie. This movie is about 3 HIPSTER couples. They are all douches. This movie has so many awkward moments, and a rape scene that tries to be funny but fails miserably. It’s not funny and very wrong. All the dialogue was a waste of time, and if these people were real, you would punch them in the face.

0.5/5 for making me remember why I hate hipsters.

The Assistants

Chris Conner, Michael Grant Terry, Joe Mantenga, Jane Seymout, Kathleen Early

Comedy

This movie centres around 6 friends who all work in film. They started out as a team of independent film makers. Fast forward two years later they all work as assistance do different type of Hollywood hot shots. They decide to con them all to get them to make their own movie.

To be honest I can’t remember any of the character names in this movie as it had way too many characters. First off you have the 6 friends, then their bosses. Then there’s a guy helping them with the con. That is 13 characters and they all have sub plots. YES ALL OF THEM! Fortunately it wasn’t it too hard to follow. The main character … um (checks imdb) Jack Ryder (Conner) is the one holding all of these pieces together.

This movie was ok but not something ill ever need to watch again, or even remember. It was very forgetful in the sense where you someone asks you what did you have for breakfast on December 9^th 1993. You know you had something but do not care to even remember it. The main character reminds me of Frank Whaley’s character from “Swimming with Sharks” which is a way more intense and better movie.

This movie wanted me to connect with the characters so much that it threw every angle at me to get to relate with them. I couldn’t care for it. Overall it wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t good either.

2.2/5

Cornered!

Steve Guttenberg, James Duval, Elizabeth Nicole, Peter Story

Thriller, Comedy

A deranged serial killer is on the loose in the city and, during their weekly poker game above a convenience store, a group of friends are trapped while the killer runs wild in their store.

This is a short description but a fun movie. It was strange in the sense that the first half hour is a funny comedy with great dialogue and acting was pretty good for an independent film with the only star is Steve Guttenberg who hasn’t been seen since Police Academy 5 (or that one episode of Party Down).

The movie starts off a little slow but has a nice little dark theme to it and is full of in jokes that are nice to know if you are a fan of the movie and look back on it. Daniel Maze wrote and directed this and to be honest I can’t talk about this movie without giving too much away. It was a good movie as it was fun and indeed a good thriller. The characters are great, a delivery man (Guttenberg), an escort (Nicole) a shop boy (Story), shop owner, heroin junkie (Duval) and a phone sex operator. All different but they get along so well

3.7/5

40-42

Class of Nuke ‘em High

Janelle Brady, Gil Brenton and Robert Prichard

Comedy, Horror, Sci-fi

A high school located next to a power plant has its students start changing into weird and crazed individuals after taking drugs grown near the power plant.

Let me start off by saying, I was waiting a long time to watch this movie, when infact I got the titles wrong. I was meant to watch “Class of 1984” that had Michael J Fox in it and the entire time I was waiting for him to appear to end up disappointed. It was only then I got the titles mixed up which the producer Llyod Kaufman of Troma Films was counting on. Touché Lloyd, touché.

I thought I was a Troma fan with movies like Toxic Avenger, Sgt Koboukiman and so on, but turns out I hate most of Tromas’ films. Why? This movie and its 2 sequels that follow.

This movie has characters that are introduced and never heard from again. The main gang that terrorizes the school look like a bunch of extras from The Warriors, and just like an extra, they act terribly.

The heroic girl and guy of the film smoke radioactive marijuana and start acting strange. The girl gets pregnant and

*SPOILER ALERT*

gives birth to a radioactive monster beast thing. Yup, all that happened from smoking a joint. SEE THAT KIDS! IT’S BAD FOR YA! Then there is this gang that terrorize the couple and then all hell breaks loose.

That’s it. Yup, that is all that happens and not much more. The acting is no better than a high school girl trying to act interesting. Sigh, I was really hoping that I was watching Class of 1984.

1/5

Class of Nuke ‘em High 2: Subhumanoid Meltdown

Brick Bronsky, Lisa Gaye and Leesa Rowland

Comedy, Horror, Sci-fi

The graduating class of the original Nuke ‘em High are now in college that is also located near a power plant. The story does not follow the characters from the original and is way more ridiculous. There is an experimentation conducted by the very attractive Prof Holt (Gaye) that involves making subhumanoid species that Roger Smith (Bronsky) falls in love with one of them (Rowland).

There are two this that made me watch this movie till the end, Prof Holt because she was hot and the costumes. The costumes were over the top and made it look like a crazy live action cartoon. The story was pretty bad and it was full of in jokes about other Troma films that the average viewer wouldn’t understand. The acting was actually better then the first, except for the Dean of the college who sounded like a hitch bitched chipmunk without the charm.

The story could have been condensed in ½ hour and still not made any better. The movie also ends on a cliff hanger were it is picked up in the sequel. There are lots of gross out moments and nothing much more than that.

1.5/5  for the visuals only

Class of Nuke ‘em High 3: The Good, the Bad and the Subhumanoid

Brick Bronsky, Lisa Star, Lisa Gaye and John Tallman

Comedy, Horror, Sci-fi

So this is a direct sequel and continuation from the events of Class of Nuke ‘em High 2. Yet the story is completely different where it follows Roger Smiths son (Bronsky) who is 3 weeks old but the same age as his dad (because he is an offspring of a human and a subhumanoid) who also has 2 other identical looking brothers who all look and played by Bronsky who is also the father. Confused yet? The brothers are split up at birth and raised differently. There is a good one and an evil one raised by Prof Holt. They must square off against each other and honestly, this movie was decent. Not good, but decent.

So the acting was still just as bad as the previous two but this one had a more coherent story which was easier to follow yet there were so many in jokes it didn’t matter in the end, as it was absurd and way over the top.

The costumes were still interesting and the plot about brothers who are trying to kill each other was pretty good yet I still felt that my time was well wasted and I wanted my time and effort back. Also if I recall correctly the power plant is mentioned in the Toxic Avenger movies as a pivotal plot point.

Argh why did I bother? I am glad this is the last one

1.6/5

37 – 39

All-Star Superman

James Denton, Christina Hendricks, Anthony Lapaglia

Animation

Up there in the sky, is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it a failure of an adaptation? Yes, yes it is. If you know nothing about superman I suggest you watch the 1978 Superman movie (which I shall review later). Superman (Denton) finds out early on that he has cancer, yup, cancer. He decides to try to make peace with his rival Lex Luthor (Lapaglia) and tell his love Lois Lane (Hendricks) that his secret identity is superman. Sounds interesting right?

Well when I read the graphic novel I thought to myself that is was a great read, but this movie is not for the average viewer. You will have no idea on certain characters or concepts in the superman world as this is made for avid readers or fans of the series. There are so many new characters that  come into the story who add nothing or are completely unnecessary. It makes sense in the book but not at all in this movie.

The animation and voice acting was brilliant but it wasn’t enough to hold the whole thing together. Lapaglia is a great Luthor and Denton does an excellent Clark Kent/Superman. If they stuck to the main story instead of adding 3 short stories that adding nothing and just became too confusing for the rest of the story.

Let me put it this way, All-Star Superman isn’t what it lives up to the name

2/5 (read the comic way better)

Superman / Batman Apocalypse

Tim Daly, Kevin Conroy, Summer Glau, Andre Braugher

Animation

Batman (Conroy) discovers a teenage girl (Glau) who has the same powers as Superman (Daly) and both have to try to protect her from an evil galactic overlord Darkseid (Braugher) with the help of Wonder Woman. This is the origins of Supergirl.

Another adaptation of a comic book series, which to be honest I don’t find that interesting. Seizure Kaiser doesn’t find a particular Batman series interesting? WOW! INSANE RIGHT? Well I find it a bit too childish in a way but this particular novel was not bad. The interesting fact is both Superman and Batman have the voice actors who played them in the original 90s cartoon series. Voice acting once again is brilliant and the animation was pretty cool. To be honest though, Summer Glau could have been easily replaced by any other voice actor. Wow she played “River” in “Fire Fly”, big deal. She isn’t that good of an actress anyway. THAT’S RIGHT I SAID IT! Andre Braugher pulls off the Darkseid voice well and I bow to it.

The story was pretty well put together, and some of it would have been better if there was more time to explain it such as the battle with the 100s of Doomsday monsters (Doomsday was the monster that killed superman in the comics). Yet it was just powered through like it was nothing.

Overall it wasn’t bad but could have been better in some aspects.

3.25/5

Batman : Year One

Bryan Cranston, Ben McKenzie, Eliza Dushku

Animation

This follows the first year of Jim Gordon (Cranston) and Batman’s (McKenzie) arrival in Gotham City. Also it is the first year where Cat Woman (Dushku) appears on the scene. A great look into Batman and Gordon starting off in an amateurish approach to their roles but learning from their mistakes.

If Christopher Nolan never made Batman Begins, this would have been that movie. Funnily enough it came first as a graphic novel (surprise) written by Frank Miller (Sin City). I remember I had Batman Year One the graphic novel the same week Batman Begins came out and I freaking loved it. I hadn’t read it since and couldn’t remember the majority of what happened in it. I was really enthralled in the story and loved it. The animation was spectacular and the voice acting, well… that could of used a lot more work. Dushku was by far the best and Cranston was real good but the character of Batman/Bruce Wayne was dull. I didn’t even know who McKenzie was until I looked him up. Turns out he was the guy from the O.C which explains why I haven’t seen him in much since.

Other than the bad  voice acting from everyone else this is a great movie and I definitely recommend this, especially if you have forgotten about Batman Begins.

4.2/5

34-36

Harold & Kumar go to White Castle

John Cho, Kal Penn, Neil Patrick Harris

Comedy

Harold (Cho) and Kumar (Penn) are buddies who live together. Harold is Asian and Kumar is Indian. Both of these guys are not stereotypes but the rest of the world don’t see anything past that. They both excel in their fields of work yet get hardly any recognition. One important fact to this is that they are both stoners. One night they decide to quest to go to White Castle, a fast food joint known for its tiny burgers yet life seems to prevent that from happening.

This is the first movie I am reviewing that I have seen in the last year but as rule two states: If there is a movie that is part of a franchise and I am to review one in the franchise, I may go back to review the others to be up to speed. This is awesome as this is one of my favorite movies (not top 10 but it’s up there). The movie plays upon the fact that no one sees past ethnic stereotypes and the two leads are anything but.

The comedy is really funny, which was a surprise since I seen the directors’ (Danny Leiner) other film before this “Dude, where’s my car?” and wasn’t that impressed with it.  This was hilarious though. In parts it is over the top (they ride a cheetah as if it was a horse) and some parts are so accurate it could be a documentary (the convenience store scene).

Neil Patrick Harris plays a bizzaro version of himself which is worth the watch alone. A stoner comedy that is also weirdly smart. Lots of cameos and very funny but the only downer to this movie is well, I only wish there was a white castle here in Australia.

4.5/5

Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay

John Cho, Kal Penn, Neil Patrick Harris, Rob Corddry

Comedy

So if you haven’t read my review of Harold & Kumar go to white castle, I recommend you do that if you are not sure what the story is about.

So this takes place directly after the first movie finishes and Harold & Kumar decide to go to Amsterdam but once again, all of life’s forces are getting in their way. It ends up so bad they end up in Guantanamo Bay by US forces (Corddry) who believe that they are both Korean and Indian terrorists.

The plot seemed like a really good idea, the downside was it wasn’t as believable as the first and was way over the top. Still there were many funny jokes and scenes such as the bottomless party. I did feel that this movie was more along the lines of a National Lampoon’s kind of movie (more the recent ones not the classics) and missed a great chance to be a political satire. The elements were there but the writing wasn’t.

Even with weed, this movie wasn’t that good… AND IT’S ABOUT WEED! Go figure.

2.5/5

A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas

John Cho, Kal Penn, Neil Patrick Harris

 Comedy

If you STILL haven’t read my review for the previous 2 Harold & Kumar movies then I will give you a minute to catch up.

…

Six years later we find our stars Harold (Cho) and Kumar (Penn) no longer living together and also not even friends. Kumar is still a massive stoner who had been dumped by his girlfriend and hitting up local drug dealers (played by PATTON “freakin” OSWALT – HELL YEA!) for his fix. On the other hand Harold is a very successful wall street banker and married. Kumar gets a package sent to his address but is for Harold so he decides to deliver it to him for Christmas. Harold’s father in law (played by DANNY “freakin” TREJO) brings over a xmas tree as it is very important to his families tradition. Yet when Kumar arrives the tree somehow gets burnt down and the boys adventure start again by trying to get another tree before the father in law returns. Whew.

So was this good or was this bad? Or should I say, was this naughty or was it nice? Once again I did not see this in 3D (hello sponsors, I would like a 3D TV please!) so I was a little disappointed as it seems they made use of the 3D with jokes about it unlike movies that didn’t really utilize it properly (Thor, Cap America etc).

This made me miss old friends as they mention that friends do grow apart sometimes and this movie was a good reminder of that it actually does happen. The story was really well played out and it was really funny. So funny that I wanted to go back in time and kick the writers of the 2^nd movie in the balls. It was fun, hilarious, slick and had all the right elements to make a comedy movie work. Even if it is a stoner comedy it worked well. Neil Patrick Harris once again steals the show playing a Bizzaro version of himself. I am hoping this isn’t the last one since these guys are the new Cheech & Chong. Yet I don’t want the quality to drop either otherwise there will be some ball kicking.

4/5

31-33

Drive Angry

Nicholas Cage, William Fichtner, Amber Heard

Action

From the fiery depths of hell Milton (Cage) has escaped to track down the man who killed his daughter and kidnapped his Granddaughter for a satanic sacrifice. He has help from an ass kicking waitress named Piper (Heard) but they have on their tail cops, Satanists and Hells’ Accountant (Fichtner).

This movie delivered what it’s title said. Driving? Check. Angry people? Check. THAT’S ALL IT WAS NEEDED! If you are into you over the top crazy blood gore action flicks then this is one you need. I remember some one told me that movies aren’t worth watching if they don’t have depth. What a load of crap! After seeing a bunch of movies that had depth and bored the hell out of me as it was the same formula over and over, sometimes a movie needs to kick you straight in the nuts (or vagina) to get your blood pumping. This is one of those movies.

Initially this movie was made for 3D as you can tell with a lot of the gun fire and gore which makes me a little sad that I only got to see this in 2D. Cage and Heard are overly bad ass in this flick. There was a story in it which was pretty simple, and lots of action to make up for it. Totally puts action flicks like Transformers to shame. Movies like this will be remembered due to the fact it will have a cult following unlike certain Oscar winning movies (Shakespeare in love? Seriously?)

4/5 without 3D with 3D, MIND EXPLOSION

Little Black Book

Brittany Murphy,  Ron Livingston, Holly Hunter, Kathy Bates, Rashida Jones

Romantic Comedy

As far as romantic comedies go… there isn’t much difference with this one.  Stacy Holt (Murphy) lives with her boyfriend Derek (Livingston) who wont talk about his past relationships. She works  on a talk show that is in the vain Jerry Springer called the Kippie Kann (Bates) Show. When her boyfriend is away she snoops through his palm pilot and finds his old girlfriends and tries to use the talk show as a means to get some information out of them.

OK every romantic comedy has to have these 5 things otherwise it wont count.

• Must have main girl singing a song that is also featured through out the movie, in this case lip syncing counts
• Must have a quirky/wacky/over confident best friend, mother or gay guy who the main character confides in
• One of the lead males in this movie must be a jerk in some way or another towards the main girl
• A montage of some sorts that would make the montages from Rocky look convincingly believable
• And my favorite, girl works in a high powered job that is exciting.

If you have all these factors in a movie then it would be a successful romantic comedy. So lets see how this movie matches up.

• Stacy sings along to a song that is repeated throughout the movie. CHECK
• Stacy has a nutty mother who gives her advice CHECK
• Derek is a jerk as you find out he still sees his ex’s CHECK
• Montage… yup its there CHECK
• Stacy works on a TV show CHECK

Yup they are all there. My favorite thing about this movie was nothing more than 2 aspects, the girls were hot (sorry not Bates, great actress but not someone I’d put in my wank bank… unless that scene from About Shmidt… WAIT WHY DID I JUST TYPE THAT? But Rashida Jones … will watch EVERYTHING she’s in… ahhh ) and

*SPOILER ALERT*

She doesn’t get the guy in the end… WHAT? A DEPRESSING ENDING? YES!!! Finally some kind of realism but oh wait… she gets her dream job and meets her idol. FUCK! Why can’t there be a realistic ending like I dunno, she gets hooked on heroin and dies. Can’t have it all I guess.

2.8/5  0.8 for the ending and 2 for Rashida Jones

Heavy Times

Brian D. Evans, Jay Brunner, Jeff Koen

Comedy

 Dan (Evans), Hugh (Brunner) and Mark are best friends and for the summer they decide to go away for a weekend but first decide to visit Dan’s sister first. That is were they meet for Dan’s Brother in law Rick (Koen), who decides to take them on a trip to Canada without their consent. Rick wants this trip to turn these guys into men.

This little independent movie started pretty slow, and I was already regretting started to watch this. These 3 friends have been together for the majority of their lives and they’re pretty nerdy guys. When they decide to meet Dan’s for a dinner they meet Rick, and to be honest, that is when the movie picked up. Rick is a fat obnoxious and rude but that is what makes him so much fun to watch.

Every group of friends has this one guy who is pretty obnoxious and a total bastard (if you are not sure who of your friends this is then it’s you) and that is Rick. Every idea this guy has you just want to punch him in the head and say “No, bad dog!” yet you can’t help to watch what he does next.

The 3 friends play pretty much the same character, which as a movie doesn’t work but in real life makes sense. When do you meet a group of friends who are vastly different from each other? Never. That is what I ended up liking about this movie. Slow to start but gets better as the movie goes on. Yet towards the end is rushed with a plot line about some Satanist hipster douche who wants to sacrifice one of the friends (not as interesting as it sounds).

 3/5

]]> http://iAmSeizure.com/angry-drivers-days-before-blackberries-heavy-moments/feed/ 0 http://iAmSeizure.com/air-traffic-felines-and-raining-meatballs/ http://iAmSeizure.com/air-traffic-felines-and-raining-meatballs/#comments Sat, 21 Jan 2012 08:43:49 +0000 seizure http://iAmSeizure.com/?p=249 Continue reading →]]> Pushing TinJohn Cusack, Billy Bob Thorton, Angelina Jolie

Comedy, Drama

This movie follows two air traffic controllers  Nick (Cusack) and Russell (Thorton) who are both hot shots in their own right but a feud starts between them after nick sleeps with Russell’s wife (Jolie)

Ok so this movie was billed as a comedy and I knew nothing of it. It was strange as it had the essence of a comedy, funny characters and situations but the plot of a drama that went no where far. Frankly this movie made me think, well… so what. Then Angelina Jolie got her boobs out and that was exciting. Then after that I was thinking, is this movie going anywhere really? The answer, no.

There’s isn’t much to say about this movie. Really, there isn’t.

2/5 without Angelina Jolies breasts. With… 3

Puss in BootsAntonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, Zach Galafanakis

Children’s Animation

This is the spin off from the Shrek series, Puss in Boots. Set in the fairy tale world it follows the adventures of Puss (Banderas) a sword fighting cat in the vein of Zorro, who with his buddies Kitty (Hayek) and Humpty Dumpty and their quest to find the magic beans. To get the beans they must steal them off Jack and Jill to plant them to get access to the goose that lays the golden eggs.

I have mentioned this is the spin off of the Shrek series. To be honest, I liked the first Shrek movie, the second one wasn’t my cup of tea and I didn’t bother with the 3rd and 4th. Yet when some one told me this had many similarities to Zorro, I thought why not.

This was a real fun adventure to watch, the humor was pretty good and also not all are aimed at children. Even Batman fans will get a kick out of certain aspects of this movie. I enjoyed this it was fun to see. Yet one thing bothered me. Usually with kids animations of animals, if there is a female character the animators tend exaggerate them to make them look more feminine. Not in this case, the character Kitty looked like an actual normal cat. Why did this bother me? Imagine a normal looking cat that is acting like a sexy girl. Ew.

Other than that, FUN!

3.8/5 loses 0.2 points for the cat thing

Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs

Bill Hader, Anna Farris, Bruce Campbell

Children’s Animation

Flint Lockwood (Hader) is a scientist that makes the lamest invention such as bird rats, a monkey translator, spray on shoes etc. He lives with his father a simple fisherman on an island that was renowned for making canned sardines until the industry came to the halt and everyone on the island can only eat sardines since there is nothing else. One day Flint creates a machine that changes clouds into food that rains down which catches the eye of a news reporter (Farris) and the mayor (Campbell)

For a kids movie this was pretty fun to watch, it had a lot of stars in it surprisingly, like MR. T is in the movie. The voice acting was great and the humor was pretty good. It is an enjoyable movie and fun. I thought the voice choice for the mayor was a bit odd until it fit later in the movie. To be honest, there’s isn’t much to say, other than what I already said.

3.5/5 because I couldn’t say anything too good or too bad about the movie

Steve Martin, Mary Steenburgen, Rick Moranis, Keanu Reeves, Dianne West, Joaquin Phoenix

Comedy Drama

Massive casts aren’t usually the best thing but this one was pretty good. It was just a basic movie, about parenting. This has been on tv 100 times over and over, but I never seen it. I have however seen cheaper by the dozen (remake) and thought to myself if this was to be anything like that I wanted to shoot myself in the head (yes cheaper by the dozen is that bad).

This was an easy movie to watch, no thinking required and you just strap yourself in and let it take you for a ride, being that ride is a wheelbarrow. So there are 4 families and they are all related and all have the same issue of raising their kids.

It’s fine to watch, some scenes get you smiling bringing back childhood memories, and some scenes make you remember why you don’t speak to members of your family. Then it gets serious towards the end but not enough to make you have a real meaningful connection with

Like I said before, an easy movie to watch If its on TV and you can’t find the remote control… you can handle it.

3.5/5

Johnny English

Rowan Atkinson, John Malkovich, Natalie Imbruglia

Comedy

The reason for this review is for the simple fact that I am about to watch the sequel. As far as I remembered I did not enjoy this movie so much so let me watch it and ill review it

*95min later*

… Let’s just say I am not looking forward to the sequel.

Special agent Johnny English (Atkinson) is the last spy MI5 has due to the killings of the others. As confident as he is, he is just as stupid. He is to recover the stolen crown from the royal treasury, and he knows the thief is a French businessman Pascal Suvage (Malkovich) and has the help of another agent Lorna Campbell (Imbruglia).

This is a funny movie, if it was made 10 years earlier (was made in 2003) as there have been way funnier spy movies then this. The whole character Atkinson plays is a pompous arrogant Englishman who is an idiot. So think his Mr. Bean character who could talk but also has no charm. For him to also be a leading man in a movie with a sexy girl being the love interest? Yea right! Know your limits damn it. Malkovich plays a bad guy pretty well but that’s Malkovich for you. Imbruglia plays … well pretty much Imbruglia. There where about 5 funny moments for me which probably would work as a kid’s movie but even then, there are way better movies than this.

2/5

Johnny English: Reborn

Rowan Atkinson, Gillian Anderson

Comedy

So here we are at the sequel 8 years later. Johnny English (Atkinson) has been called once again to action after a disgraceful stint that got him banished from the secret intelligent agency. The Chinese premiers’ life is in danger and its up to Johnny English to make sure that doesn’t happen. His boss “Pegasus” (Anderson) does not think much of English but has no choice but to use his services.

This movie was better than the original, but not by so much. This has a way more interesting spy story and didn’t make him out to be so pompous. The opening training sequence was pretty funny and so was the parkour chase scene was pretty fun to watch.

This movie went on for way too long though. The other supporting cast weren’t memorable and the plot, think a classic spy story that was badly executed. At least in this movie English admits he is a bit a dick which makes his actions excusable this time.

Overall, meh

2.3/5

Bill Murray

Comedy

Looking at the cover of this DVD I thought this was to be a teen sex romp com in the vein of porky’s. I have not ever come across this movie ever so it was a surprise. I was wrong about the movie though. It wasn’t a teen sex romp com, it was more of a feel good movie with very little sexual tension. Which was somewhat disappointing and misleading with the DVD cover since sometimes a person would like to watch some juvenile perverted humor without having to watch hardcore porn,

Yet, this movie was classic Bill Murray, very funny, over the top acting. He plays a camp councilor who has total disregard for acting professional. That’s pretty much the story, except there is some plot about a kid having trouble to fit in and he is all depressed and all but you pretty much forget about that kid, especially since he is boring to watch and you more watch it for Murray’s and the kids antics.

It was quite fun and enjoyable but I heard that its going to be remade so I am lucky to have seen this before it becomes part of a hated series.

3/5

A Bit of Tom Jones

Jonny Owens, Roger Evans, Matt Berry

Comedy

So this was real interesting. Perverts, mafia, cops, dealers and all the good stuff. This was like a very low budget version of Lock Stock. Henry (Owens) is a little bit dimwitted and is approached by a woman late one night in a pub and she  offers to sell him the severed “manhood” of wales greatest singer (aka Tom Jones). So he decides to buy it and make a fortune off it.

Great idea for a story, very very low budget but it was fun none the less. The comedy was pretty witty and surprisingly very few dick jokes. I always love watching Matt Berry play Matt Berry, its cocky, arrogant and very funny. I didn’t even realise he was in this and I even read his name on the cover.

The movie has its strange moments like asking a gimp to help you escape from being tied up yet instead… joins you. The cast were pretty capable and believable and it was nice to see something different. Surprisingly, no Tom Jones music. That’s a real shame…

3/5

Black Rain

Michael Douglas, Andy Garcia

Action Crime Drama

Picture this, Michael Douglas, on a motorbike looking badass with neon tokyo lights behind him. Was this the sequel to purple rain? Nup (thank god). Yet this was a good action flick. Admitily the action wasn’t so much but was pretty good none the less.

Nick (Douglas) and Charlie (Garcia) are two New York cops. Nick is being investigated by internal affairs and Charlie is the new hot shot detective on the force. They both foil a theft by a Japanese mobster and have to transport him back to Japan. When they do he escaped and its their job to track him down.

It was a pretty cool movie, everything worked well together and that’s why Ridley Scott is a pretty good action director. It is funny to see how New York cops clash with the Japanese cops and the difference. Movies like this is the reason why the 80s seemed cool.

4/5